Amelia Ng

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Written by mummy Wendy.

To my dearest Amelia,

It was 8 yrs ago that I vividly recalled how I held you close to my bosom in the delivery suite. When you were born, I was staring at you having tears welled in my eyes knowing how different you are gonna be with that big birthmark on your forehead almost over the highest point nearing your left eye socket area. Doctor says that the birthmark will never leave you. Frankly that doesn’t make me love you less, your toddlers years weren’t easy… Things gotten tougher after you slowly sinking into that state of unfounded diagnosis until today.. occasionally I found myself burying my tears on the pillow accepting the cruel reality that you are so trapped in a body liked of a 80 years old lady…

Sometimes I wonder how could we as your parents and family embrace that unconditional love and communicating with you without verbal exchange of languages.When you were 4 yrs old, God answered my prayers by allowing me to learn how your smacking of lips, swallowing your littlest saliva and blinking your eyes are so perfect n precious enough to run our daily communication with you. It seemed so easy to others, to us we knew it takes you a lot of efforts. For that we knew that you are already a child scoring A star always and forever you are our best child.

You never give up… you are always my little warrior princess ever and nobody would be a tougher cookie than you… My dearest sweetie Amelia..

I rejoice each moment of my life becasue you are such a precious lesson… each day I seize every moment with u learning what is contentment and a thankful heart. You clearly brings out what is within mi that I can be a better person. Without you, I will never develop the fruits of patience and love.. You are a miracle and I knew that one day we will see Rainbow in your life like what your jiejie saw on her 8th birthday… she believes in you and so does daddy n mi…

This is something I have written to voice out your innermost feelings and believing that you will read it one day…

I hope that this could truly encourages anybody whom is facing a tough time that you can be feeling so unjustified or bitter about it… Look beyond your outer self… search for a true self within and you discovered that you much stronger than you think…

Just dedicated for you Amelia and everyone out there whom needs this.

I am the child who cannot talk. You often pity me, I see it in your eyes. You wonder how much I am aware of. I see that as well. I am aware of much . . . whether you are happy or sad or fearful, patient or impatient, full of love or if you are just doing your duty by me. I marvel at your frustration, knowing mine to be far greater, for I cannot express myself or my needs as you do.

You cannot conceive my isolation, so complete it is at times. I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated. I do not give you answers to your everyday questions, responses over my well being, sharing my needs, or comments about the world about me. I do not give you rewards as defined by the world’s standards . . . great strides in development that you can credit yourself; I do not give you understanding as you know it.

What I give you is so much more valuable . . . I give you instead opportunities. Opportunities to discover the depth of your character, not mine; the depth of your love, your commitment, your patience, your abilities; the opportunity to explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined possible. I drive you further than you would ever go on your own, working harder, seeking answers to your many questions with no answers. I am the child who cannot talk.

I am the child who cannot walk. The world seems to pass me by. You see the longing in my eyes to get out of this chair, to run and play like other children. There is much you take for granted. I want the toys on the shelf, I need to go to the bathroom, oh I’ve dropped my fork again. I am dependant on you in these ways. My gift to you is to make you more aware of your great fortune, your healthy back and legs, your ability to do for yourself. Sometimes people appear not to notice me; I always notice them. I feel not so much envy as desire, desire to stand upright, to put one foot in front of the other, to be independent. I give you awareness. I am the child who cannot walk.

I am the child who is mentally impaired. I don’t learn easily, if you judge me by the world’s measuring stick, what I do know is infinite joy in simple things. I am not burdened as you are with the strife and conflicts of a more complicated life. My gift to you is to grant you the freedom to enjoy things as a child, to teach you how much your arms around me mean, to give you love. I give you the gift of simplicity. I am the child who is mentally impaired.

I am the disabled child. I am your teacher. if you allow me, I will teach you what is really important in life. I will give you and teach you unconditional love. I gift you with my innocent trust, my dependency upon you. I teach you about how precious this life is and about not taking things for granted. I teach you about forgetting your own needs and desires and dreams. I teach you giving. Most of all I teach you hope and faith. I am the precious child of yours and I am not a mistake.

Everyday is your birthday because you are strengthened by Him with His grace, love and mercy always….

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